Talking to your loved one about Senior Home Care

Posted by: matthew

Denise Williams, Client Care Manger for All Valley Senior Home Care in Escondido, California shares advice about talking to an aging loved one about home care services. As a Vida Certified Home Care Agency manager, Denise educates and assists families with senior home care on a daily basis.

As our parents age and their ability to maintain their own independence steadily declines, it may become necessary to discuss the possibility of using home care services. The time may come when your loved one is going to need the supervision and care that you no longer have the ability to provide. Many people experience feelings of guilt when they consider outside care for their loved ones. These are normal feelings and despite them you must realize that you are looking out for your loved one’s best interests.

The decision to start in home senior care is usually a result of health or safety issues as well as a decline in a loved one’s quality of life. For some families, this can be a difficult topic to approach, particularly if the care recipient is resistant to accepting outside assistance. Their concerns may include fears regarding finances, trusting a stranger in the home or even the idea of the loss of independence.

The most common mistake that families make is not bringing up the topic with their aging loved one while their loved one is still able to comprehend what is happening and express any concerns they may have. Their fears should be addressed with complete understanding and prepared knowledge on several different care scenarios. The goal is to talk with them, listen to their concerns and open them up to the idea. It’s best to approach the topic gently and try not to anger or upset them to the point where they become defiant and oppose any idea of receiving help.

It is important that you explain your concerns and include them in the decision process so the solutions can be made together. Take the initiative by preparing yourself, doing your homework and offering options. Getting your loved one to focus on and speak about this topic can be a very challenging process. Let them know you are concerned and that by discussing this topic, you are looking out for their best interests. Your goal is to answer the questions they may have and be able to provide insight regarding your concerns.

Ten Tips for Discussing Senior Home Care with a loved one.

• Choose the right time and place: Choose a quiet, private setting to begin this conversation where you know your loved one is comfortable.
• Ask permission of your loved one to have this discussion: Asking permission assures them that you will respect their wishes and honor them.
• Be honest regarding your concerns: Don’t make promises you can’t keep; be sure to take your loved one’s concerns seriously.
• If they refuse to discuss the idea, you don’t want to pressure your loved one. Be persistent and return to the topic another time.
• Involve them in the care plan. Be sensitive to their feelings and preferences. Acknowledge their desires even if they are different from your own.
• Be patient and calm. No matter how helpless a loved one appears, treating an aging loved one like a child can crush any remaining feelings of dignity or independence.
• Listen to their concerns: It is important for you to understand your loved one when it comes to their care, so spend most of the conversation listening.
• Stay positive and understanding: It is normal to encounter resistance the first time you bring up the need for home care services. Don’t be discouraged, plan to try again at another time.
• Maintain communication: Continue to treat them with respect, patience, sympathy and understanding.
• Include others in decision-making: Recruit other family members to offer their guidance and express their concerns as well.

During the discussion, it is helpful to distinguish what is most important when it comes to your loved one’s care. This should include input from many different sources including your loved one, family members, his or her physician, spiritual advisor, close friends or neighbors. They may have suggestions in recommending the best type of care to meet your loved one’s needs. Most parents don’t want to burden their children, and they will often respond to open, honest communication. Showing them that you are genuinely concerned about their well-being can make all the difference.

If you would like more information or need help with a loved one or friend you can always call us at 1-866-273-2995, visit our Senior Home Care Agency Directory, or fill out this simple online form. Get Help Now!